when i believe

[a poem dedicated to the past struggles i've encountered to find myself and my strength in the midst of chaos and destructive patterns..... a struggle that's always with us in one sense, but one that takes intensified form at some points. my own journey with this struggle has looked very different over time, but i'm always grateful to look back and see how i've grown when choosing to believe in the best in myself]

when will i stop being surprised
when your choices become your lies?
when will i let myself see
that this has absolutely nothing to do with me?
when will i leave your shoes
and understand that i have nothing to prove?
when will i breathe some fresh air
and free myself from this needless despair?
when will i decide to climb out
and admit to myself what this is all about?
when will i use my two feet
and stop this fucking cycle of dependency?

when i believe.
when i believe.
when i believe.
when i believe.

in me.

poetry and photography copyright 2009. shane oborn.